Bill shows up at the Queen’s house to find her munching down on a human girl’s leg [must be that tasty femoral artery Bill spoke of last season]. The Queen offers for Bill to join her, but he politely declines. Bill wants to know how to kill a Maenad, but Queen Sophie Ann is more interested in all the havoc that the Maenad has caused – you know, orgies, sacrifices, and cannibalism [Fun!] She is not very forthcoming on usable information, as she is easily distracted and she talks in circles. According to Sophie Ann, you can’t kill Maryann because she has convinced herself that she is immortal so therefore she is…because everything imagines itself into existence. [are you confused yet?] Bill decides he needs to get back to Bon Temps, but the Queen says that Sookie is safe right now and commands him to stay the night and play.
The Queen and Bill are relaxing by the pool in the lighted "Day room". He is desperate to leave, but Sophie insists that he feed off of one of the pool boys and play Yahtzee before she reveals how to kill the Maenad. Finally, she reveals that Maenads are sad creatures that are still waiting for the “God who comes”, but the God actually never shows up. If she believes that she successfully summons the God, then she will expect the God to kill and devour her…therefore, if she sacrifices a supernatural vessel before her peeps that it will summon the God, and at that moment, she is no longer immortal and is susceptible to being killed. The Queen is interrupted, and while she's away, we find out more about her human. Her name is Hadley, and she is actually Sookie’s long lost cousin that Bill seems to already know. [hmmmm...very interesting…]
Hoyt has to pull a crazed feeding Jessica off of his zombie mama. He is furious with Jessica for biting her; Jessica contends that she couldn’t let her continue to talk trash, but Hoyt says that a mama’s job is to nag. Hoyt tells Jessica that he should have heeded Vampire Bill’s earlier warning, before escorting mama back home and leaving Jessica all alone screaming. See, this is one of the pitfalls of dating a mama’s boy. Poor Hoyt's drama isn't over, however, when back at home zombie Maxine keeps throwing digs about Hoyt and his father; she reveals the secret she has been hiding about Hoyt's dad [he was possible homosexual alcoholic that committed suicide to get away from them]. Ouch!
Jason and Andy are helping Sam clean up Merlotte’s while trying to come up with a plan. Sam has revealed that he is a shapeshifter, which Jason thinks is “f*cking cool!” Jason also thinks since the cops are now part of the zombie nation, they need to take the law into their own hands and clean up Bon Temps themselves. Sam thinks this is a terrible idea, because you can’t shoot and kill Maryann, and you don’t want to shoot the zombie’s because they can’t help what they are doing under Maryann’s spell. Jason contends that sometimes you have to destroy something to save it, cause that’s what it says in the bible…or the constitution [Oh Jason…].
Andy and Jason go to the station to load up on weapons. Jason distracts one of the female zombies while Andy goes for the guns. Andy is grabbed by a dancing Sheriff Dearborn, but he wrestles the gun away from him and then gets to the weapons. One of the other deputies surprises Jason from behind with a gun to start playing Russian roulette, and inadvertently shoots Andy instead. Never fear, Andy is wearing Kevlar, so he is fine, so they load up on weapons and prepare for battle. Jason throws him a candy bar, telling Andy to “carb up” in preparation for that night, then they start arguing about why exactly Andy doesn’t like Jason. Andy thinks Jason has had an easy life; Jason argues that it is hard life, having to work out everyday and watch lots of porn to get the women.
Sam catches Arlene’s kids, Cody and Lisa, watching thru the window; they don’t know where their mom is and they haven’t eaten in a long time. Sam feeds the kids sandwiches as they convince him to go to a vampire for help. Since Sam believes that Bill is still out of town, he decides to see Eric. Eric and Pam meet with Sam and the kids that night; Eric wants to know what’s in it for him helping a shifter, and Sam says he will have to owe him one. Eric wouldn’t mind Sookie as tribute, but Sam refuses, insisting they are just going to have to trust each other to save the town. Much like Bill, Eric has no knowledge of how to defeat a Maenad, but knows one who might. He seems fascinated with the kids, whom he calls “teacup humans”, but Pam is less enthralled with them. He decides to help and escorts Sam and kids out before literally flying off to see the Queen.
Bill and Eric meet up outside of the Queen’s mansion. Eric tells Bill he is there to find out how to kick some Maenad ass. Bill sees right thru him and calls him out on wanting to be the hero to impress Sookie. Eric just smiles and wants to know if Sookie has been mentioned him lately. Bill thinks it is sad that he had to trick Sookie into drinking his blood to get her to want him, but Eric contends that Bill did the same thing by having Sookie drink his blood the first night they met. Bill argues that he did it to save Sookie’s life, which Eric finds very convenient. Bill threatens that if Eric does not leave Sookie alone, he will tell the Queen about Eric’s side V business. Eric is clearly pissed to find that Bill knows about that, but Bill says he will keep quiet if Eric avoids further contact with Sookie. [Yeah, and we already know how Eric feels about being threatened].
Lafayette, Sookie, and Lettie Mae are trying to convince Tara to remain with them until Bill returns with the answers to defeat Maryann. Tara’s only concern is rescuing Eggs. When they can no longer reason with her, they get some of Lafayette's fuzzy handcuffs and chain her to the coffee table. Lafayette continues guarding the house while Sookie finally gets a text from Bill [5 hours later] saying he won’t be back until the next day so they have to keep waiting. Lafayette finds out that Sookie is also working for Eric and they both reveal that they were tricked into drinking Eric’s blood, and that they both have naughty dreams about him now [don’t we all!]
Tara throws Lettie Mae one hell of a guilt trip until she has convinced her to release her. Lettie Mae comes out crying saying she can’t handle being in the room with Tara no more, and she will take over guard. As soon as she gets the rifle, she turns it on Lafayette and Sookie, giving Tara time to get away. Lafayette’s PTSD rears it head when she shoots the gun and he starts seeing Eric’s face instead of Lettie Mae threatening to shoot him. Sookie comforts him as she whispers a plan in his ear; she gets Lettie Mae to lower the gun, grabs and throws an ashtray at her, and they get the gun back as they run to his car. They have a plan that consists of getting into the house, grabbing Tara, and getting out. [It is not much as far as plans go].
Tara arrives back at Sookie’s house and finds Eggs is still possessed. Maryann comes in and reveals that Tara’s exorcism was the reason Mary Ann was summoned due to the energy of the ritual. Maryann starts shimmering to possess Tara, but finds it doesn’t work anymore. However, a good punch in the face brings back the crazy eyes as Tara and Eggs head upstairs. Meanwhile, the townsfolk come to the house to report to Mary Ann that the “God who comes" came and smoted Sam Merlotte. Maryann is pissed that they were so easily duped, and makes a horrible noise as she yells at them to get out. She realizes if you want the job right, you have to do it yourself.
Lafayette and Sookie arrive at the house and are trying to decide the next step when Arlene and Terry drop down from the trees above. Lafayette distracts them with throwing them some prescription meds, while Sookie sneaks into the house. Lafayette runs into Maryann and Karl in the woods and his attempt to shoot Maryann ricochets off and hits Karl in the head, killing him. Maryann is not too broken-hearted when she realizes that Lafayette can cook as well. Back inside, the zombie’s are all thru the house doing disgusting things like cutting off their fingers, men wearing dresses, and bathing in the sink. Mike Spencer stops Sookie until she tricks him into thinking he is getting sex but instead gets a frying pan to the head. She heads upstairs and finds Tara and Eggs destroying Gran’s trinkets and guarding a large egg [what the heck is that?!?!] She feels a tap on her shoulders and turns around to find Lafayette with zombie eyes.
And we will return in 2 weeks for the season finale of True Blood….
My Rating: 6/10
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