I don’t know who rocked this episode more: Eric or Jason. This is a can’t miss episode so this blog post will be a bit longer than normal, but I really couldn’t leave anything out. Now onto the recap…
Sookie quickly buttons up her dress as Godric holds Gabe in the air by his throat and quickly snaps his neck. Godric tells Sookie she should not have come to save him, and then Eric shows up and kneels before Godric. He tells Eric he is a fool to send humans in to save him and reveals that Hugo was the traitor. As they talk the lockdown sirens go off and the emergency lights start flashing, so Godric tells Eric to get Sookie safely out of the building and to not spill any human blood.
Jason slowly sits up and he realizes that he is still alive because god saved him. She tells him to grow a brain cell since she only shot him with a paintball gun. She calls him worse than Judas, and Jason’s honest stupidity earns him another shot in the balls with the paintball gun. There is a bit of he said, she said as Jason thinks that Sarah revealed the affair to Steve, while Sarah thinks that Jason is in with the vampires since Sookie is his sister. She tells him they have Sookie in the church, so Jason overpowers the gun from her hands, throws her down, and takes off in the cart back towards the church to rescue his sister. Go Jason!
Meanwhile Bill is still trapped in the hotel with Lorena and Bellboy Barry that she grabbed from the hall. She is ready to snack and takes a bite of Barry; just as she remarks that he tastes funny, Bill whacks her twice with a plasma TV and grabs Barry to leave.
Jessica and Hoyt are getting down to business when Bill interrupts them. Hoyt assures Bill that any screams he heard were due to pleasure. [Hoyt is so awesome!] Jessica is just humiliated and tries to hide. Bill tells him that if he truly cares for Jessica he will get her back to Bon Temps before the sun comes up pronto. Now! Then Bill takes off to go after Sookie. They arrive back at Vampire Bill’s house and continue where they left off earlier. As they get back to business again Jessica yells in pain. She is horrified to realize that like the Foreigner song, it really does “Feel Like The First Time”. Every Time! I cannot think of a worse punishment for an eternal vampire.
Women and children are leaving the building as the Soldiers of the Sun arrive. Eric and Sookie wait for their moment to escape. Sookie wants to know why Eric showed up instead of Bill, and is told that Bill is too attached to Sookie and it would cloud his judgment to rescue her. Sookie realizes that Godric is Eric’s maker and he actually does love something…but when she says it aloud, he responds with “Don’t use words you don’t understand” and “Don’t use words I don’t understand”….[my, my, it looks like we are seeing a new side of Eric this episode]. He sees his chance and heads out, but when Sookie tries to stop him, he softly whispers to trust him…
Eric puts on a human face and an awful hick accent to face the boys guarding the front doors of the church. They first believe he is human as he tells them he is there to guard the doors, but then ask where his wooden stake is. He tells them he must have forgotten it and asks to borrow on of theirs. As one of them realizes Eric is a vampire, Sookie yells, “Stake!” and Eric turns and quickly disarms them before they can blink. He even holds his promise to Godric and does not spill any of their blood. They check outside and see more soldiers arriving with wooden arrows, so they go back thru the church to find another exit and instead encounter Steve. He tells them there are several exits but the easiest one for them is straight to hell. The soldiers pour into the sanctuary with stakes and silver chains ready to battle, and Eric and Sookie are trapped right in the middle of it!
Sookie tells Steve that no one has to get hurt and they should save themselves, but Steve informs her that the war has already begun. He also calls Sookie the Evil Whore of Satan, which makes me giggle every time. Sookie tells him that Godric already got away, but Steve is not picky and says Eric will work just as well for their purposes. Eric assures Sookie that he will be fine and surrenders himself to Steve to save Godric and Sookie. They place Eric on the church alter wrapped in silver chains. As Steve does not want to release Sookie, and taunts that they will tie Sookie up to Eric to watch them burn together when Bill finally arrives and rushes in. Steve holds a gun to Sookie to keep Bill at bay.
Jason arrives at the church and flashes his Ring of Honesty to gain entry into the church. Then he overpowers a guard inside that wants to take him to Steve. Jason shoots the gun out of his hand with his paintball gun. [yea!] Then he goes one step further and shoots him in the head. [awesome!] Bill rushes to grab Sookie, buty Sookie rushes over to get the chains off Eric. Then the rest of the Dallas vampires walk in – and they are ready for the war to begin.
Godric stops them before the bloodshed can begin. He doesn’t understand why humans and vampires cannot co-exist. He asks for Steve to help him prevent the fight, but Steve refuses to listen and begs Eric to kill him, as Jesus will save him. Godric reveals that he is actually older than Jesus but would have liked of met him, then he swoops down and asks the rest of the humans who would be willing to die for Steve’s madness. No one steps up, so Godric tells everyone to go home, leaving the pathetic Steve sitting alone on the floor of the church. Jason gets one last parting shot at Steve and reveals that Heaven is actually found inside of his wife. [Oh Snap!]
After work, Lafayette is reading Tara’s fortune using Tarot cards. He flips over the Lovers card and tells Tara that the way it is positioned means that there will be sacrifices of the heart and she will have to choose [hello, foreshadowing]. He is about to turn another card over when Eggs shows up freaked out. He gets Tara alone and tells her he blacked out again earlier that night for a couple of hours. Tara asks Lafayette to close down Merlotte’s and takes Eggs home.
Sam is camping in his vehicle when his ringing cell phone wakes him. Nobody’s there, but the call came from the bar. He arrives at Merlotte’s to find it empty…except for Daphne minus a heart in the freezer. Before he can do anything else, the police arrive on an anonymous tip. They mention that this is the second body they have found at his bar; Sam tries to reason with them that he wouldn’t hide a body at his work and they know him better than that. According to Bud and Kenya they don’t know his history at all – no records, no SSN, no past. Andy arrives after hearing about the murder on his police radio. He tells Bud and Kenya they can’t arrest Sam because he witnessed the murderer: It was a bull…with claws…wearing a dress. [What’s so sad is he is the only one that knows what is really going on]. Unsurprisingly, they do not buy Andy’s corroboration and haul Sam to jail, where he find several of the townspeople also locked up [one lady for losing her pants and one guy that was caught sodomizing a pine tree….seriously, can’t make this up even if I wanted too.]
Back at Casa Sookie, Maryann is whipping up a meal that includes diced fresh heart…[okay, now I remember why we made a pact not to eat during this show]. Tara and Eggs arrive back home just in time to eat Maryann’s special recipe for Hunter Soufflé. They cut into it and remark on how amazing it tastes [Gross, the Daphne pot pie looks as bad as it sounds]. But it must taste better as Eggs and Tara gobble it up. This soufflé comes with some wicked side effects that make them feel invincible enough to start beating the shit out of each other before turning that anger into some lust on the entry floor. Gran would be appalled!
Back in Dallas, all the vamps have congregated at Godric’s house for an all night celebration. Eric traps Jason and tells him that he may be a hero in Dallas, but he is a V user in his territory. Jason swears he is not into that anymore, and Eric is willing to call it even, all things considered. Meanwhile Sookie wants to know where Bill was when she was in trouble, and when she finds out he was held hostage, she wrongly assumes that Eric was stopping him. The vamps continue their discussion later on, where Bill tells Eric he is forbidden from Sookie; Eric asks if Bill is picking a fight, and gives him a look that says this is far from over. Isabel arrives with the traitorous Hugo, who is brought before Godric for his verdict. He realizes that Isabel still loves him, so he tells Hugo he is free to go provided he leaves the area immediately.
Later that night, Sookie is still trying to find out why Bill was detained. Before Bill can tell her what happened, Jason interrupts and wants to speak to Bill in private. They go outside where Jason apologizes for being stupid and Bill forgives him, then they hug it out bitch [albeit awkwardly]. Sookie stays inside where a vampire in a red gown approaches her. It’s Lorena and she wants to check out the competition and reveals that Bill was with her the past two nights. The conversation quickly deteriorates to insults and an almost catfight before Godric steps in and breaks it up. He chastises Lorena for being a mean, bloodthirsty vampire and commands her to leave Texas before dawn. Bill escorts her out as she cries about how it all got out of hand. She wants to know when they will see each other again, and he replies "Never" . She thinks since they are both immortal their paths will cross again [and I don’t think she is going to go off into the sunset quietly].
The camera pans on some Doc Martens slowly walking up the driveway and into the house. Jason looks over and notices it is the Lukeanator from camp. He pushes Jason away and tells him to get out before announcing that he is with the FOTS and has brought a message from Steve Newlin. He slowly unzips his coat to reveal several bombs wrapped with silver chains and bullets. Just as he presses the detonator, the screen fades to black…
Agghhhh, how can they make us wait a whole week for more True Blood…
My Rating 10/10
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